Pokes is really a polka dot blanket that she has had since she was a baby. She sleeps with pokes every night, takes pokes to school daily for naptime, and though we usually leave it in the car it accompanies us on many outings. Obviously the baby blanket has developed its own persona with the nickname pokes. Needless to say the loss has been noticed, A LOT!
She’s had discussions about what has happened to pokes? Such as “Grammy, do you think pokes got burned up in a fire?” As well as a couple of nights where she can’t fall asleep because she misses pokes and hopes that her cousins will find pokes and send it to her.
When Martha was here for the TypeA Conference she took her to get a new blanket, not to replace pokes of course, but to help her sleep which has helped for sure. Grammy has tried to find another pokes and she tells everyone that “Grammy is going to get her another pokes.” I’ve looked around on the internet, but haven’t found an exact match. When her Mimi returned from visiting the cousins where pokes was lost, I said lets go welcome Mimi home and she responded in a excited and hopeful voice, “Yes, maybe she has pokes.”
I guess I didn’t really realize what losing a security blanket would mean to a 4 year old. Maybe I should just tell her too bad, life is full of loss and this is the first of many things you will lose. But another part of me wants to make it all better for her and find pokes because she will face plenty of loss in her life, so why deal with it now? It also makes me think about my own attachments to things and different things I use as an adult to cope with not being able to sleep, being worried, or anxious and maybe a blanket isn’t such a bad thing to hold onto, it could be worse.
I also love that she still has hope that pokes will be found. Sometimes hope is all we have, hope that everything will turn out for the best and that is all I can hope for with pokes!